Our topic for this week is: WHAT YOU MUST CONSIDER BEFORE ENTERING INTO A RELATIONSHIP (SINGLES – MAN) Pt. 2
6. Caring and Considerate
As a man, you must be caring and considerate and this starts from people around you especially your parents. A man who cannot take good care of his parents cannot take care of his partner/fiancee or be considerate. It is said, “Charity begins at home,” start with your parents and siblings first and if they are late, you have spiritual parents and relatives but you have to be careful with relatives, if you don’t trust them, help people in your place of worship especially those in need. If you are considerate, your partner or wife will enjoy you.
7. Decency/Hygiene – when we talk about decency, some people think it is for the ladies or women alone but it is a big lie. Many young men are not taking care of themselves because of this ignorance. Many don’t bathe let alone at night, they believe bathing in the morning is enough, No! You can’t sleep with that sweat. Some repeat underwear (pant/boxers) for days. Anything you wear under shouldn’t sleep with you. Once you bathe at night, you are supposed to wear another boxer or short or for those who like sleeping naked. So, don’t wear already-worn underwear, it will smell or cause rashes. The same thing with clothes you wear, although you can repeat some on the condition that they are not dirty or smelling.
You must brush your teeth twice, morning and night after meal. Bath with sponge and soap always, shave your armpits and private parts always, use roll-on for your armpits only. Always take care of your hair and your bears, either you cut or comb it always and also rub cream. Put on nice perfume and you are good to go. When you look nice, you attract reasonable and nice people around you and vice versa.
Also, your room(s) must always be neat, free it from dirt. Apart from being clean, it must be well arranged and organized. Even if you don’t have things in there, maintain decency.
8. Character and Discipline – as a young man, you must have good character and be disciplined. You can’t be doing things anyhow. I am aware that youthful exuberance pushes us to do some things but we must learn how to discipline ourselves. Too much of everything is bad. Eating too much leads to gluttony, drinking too much, leads to drunkenness, too many women leads to whoredom, partying everyday at clubs, leads to waste and inability to plan for your future. And that attracts poverty. Many people have their houses, cars, investment, etc in their potbelly because they consume every money that comes their way. As a young man, have you asked yourself, why others are not wayward despite the fact that they are financially bouyant? If you don’t plan for your future now as a single, life might be difficult when you marry. Some young men don’t have anything in their houses mattresses and pillows, that is wrong. I had everything before I married including kitchen utensils and when I married, I wasn’t struggling to get furniture and others but was just relaxed and attending to baby things.
9. Quit Wrong Habits – many people have one bad habit or the other. It is either you are a smoker, womaniser, drunkard, glutton, etc. For you to have a good relationship and marriage, you must begin to drop those habits. I know it is not easy, you can approach a genuine man of God to help you or contact me. You know the implications of habit, when you start having children, they will copy you and children are good learners, they will even do it more than you, so in order not to destroy your generation, quit that habit.
Also note that, it is dangerous for people to know that you have habit, you will be vulnerable, they can easily kill you or expose you to enemies. For instance, if they know you love women too much, they will just use them to eliminate you. If you are the type that loves food or drink, it is just a poison, as they did to one of my friends. So be careful with that habit(s), it is your weakness and can be against you.
I had an issue with my former boss. When I visited his house, he told the chef to give me food, I simply told him that I just finished eating, he insisted that the others and I should be given food. Others accepted but I politely told him that, “Sir, I don’t eat when I see food but when I am hungry.” Some people will not allow such food to pass even when they are filled up.
Don’t attempt to sleep with your partner let alone co-habit, it is wrong spiritually. You will lose the blessings that come with marriage. The Bible says, Genesis 2:24 (KJV) “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Not a man or lady shall come from the same house they are co-habiting and get married. Many marriages have problems today from barrenness to lack and want (poverty), to sickness and diseases and even death because of desperation and disobedience. Let’s be careful, you will be the one to be tired of sex when you get married. Don’t be in a hurry, get it right and enjoy your marriage.
10. Truthfulness – this is one attribute you must have as a person planning to go into a relationship. You should be known for some thing, and people should be able to vouch for you. You must be truthful always especially during courtship and counseling. You have a child before marriage, tell the lady or the man, hiding such information will cause problems in future which might even cause divorce. Lie is like pregnancy, no matter how you hide it, it will show one day. Even if you would be punished, just stand by the truth always. Saying the truth will not kill you but will only make people trust you.
11. Contentment – you must be content with whatever God gives you or wherever you are. Don’t be covetous, it can land you in trouble. Your neighbor or friend is driving a big car, just thank God for them and the God who gave them will also provide yours. Don’t go the extra mile to want to get yours by all means. Some of them live on borrowed life, some are even into illicit activities, some do rituals, don’t envy them. Some smile in the day but cry all nights. I saw a man in the bank, something is eating him up, when I saw his palm, I couldn’t eat and yet they were calling him to come and sign some contracts in hundreds of millions. It could be you have only 5,000 naira, don’t bother, everything is time bound, your time will come but if you are in a hurry, you will pay dearly for it. The Bible says, ill-gotten wealth will fly away like birds, Proverbs 10:2 (KJV) says, “Treasures of wickedness profit nothing: but righteousness delivereth from death,” the same Proverbs, 10:22 says, “The blessings of the Lord maketh rich and add no sorrow.” You can also read Proverbs.23:5.
12. Acquire personal effects – many young people make this mistake a lot. I have been to many people’s houses and I felt disappointed in those I respect a lot. Many don’t have settee let alone dining sets. The reason is because they didn’t get those things when they were bachelor and when they got married, they were busy running around to take care of the family, to ensure they have food on the table first. At that time, their scale of preference will always be how to feed and wear clothes not to acquire furniture or electronics. That is why you must acquire those things as a single. I had virtually everything including pots, gas cooker, toaster, etc before getting married. Stop squandering your money, invest in business and equip your houses.
13. Acquire cooking skills
Lastly, as a young man, you must learn to prepare your meal even if it is the simplest, that is, how to boil water for tea, prepare rice and stew. It is not everything you buy outside every time. I used to prepare my food myself and that really helped me save cost and also avoid food poisoning. I learnt how to cook from my mum and that really helped me as a bachelor. If you don’t know how to do some things yourself, some ladies will capitalize on it and tie you down with their food, and the desperate ones can even put ‘love portion’ inside, so that you can marry them. Many young men who love food have been caged. Even if it means going to catering school to learn some simple cooking, do it, it will help you select the right partner not the one that will use food to lure you.
OUR NEXT TOPIC: What you should look out for in a lady before you take her as a fiancee
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